Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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