the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
