my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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