Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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