Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
nutella sex= disaster
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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