New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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