please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
