No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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