you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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