After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
