Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
