i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
