Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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