I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
