We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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