Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize