Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
