Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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