is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
