Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
