4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
