the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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