i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
