yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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