uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
