my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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