I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
