i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
