I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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