is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
