the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
