where am i from again
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
