The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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