and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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