I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
