Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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