I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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