I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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