It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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