you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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