Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
