There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
