I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's rum buckets o'clock
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
