You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
