is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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