the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
