awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
