You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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