WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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