people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
