If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
