WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
